Slam Dunk Defeat!

Today I have a personal success to share with you, not to brag but to show you how powerful this work that I am doing can be in a person's life.

This week I had a major shift, an ahh haa moment.

Let me share it with you.

I first want to start with how defeat, the winning kind of course, USED to feel like for me (and if you want to read about both kinds of defeat go read yesterday's post).

AMAZING!

Like the world just stopped spinning, amazing!

You know why?

It's because I would have a thought along the lines of "WHAT?!? Like, what just happened?!?"

Basically it was amazing as in exciting but also with a whole lot of surprise, like "Did that REALLY just happen?!?"

Don't get me wrong, with most things, like in my bodybuilding career, I am a hard worker and when I set (some) goals, I went out and got it.

WHY?

When we set out to achieve goals from a place of not loving ourselves, with lack of self confidence, while living a facade, we are truly just throwing the dice and hoping for the best.

Of course the other sort of defeat, the losing sort, would always feel a bit awful, which was all about me and my inability, my unworthiness.

Fast forward to two years post life coaching, let me tell you that now BOTH defeats sort of feel the same 🤔.

Let me explain and share this week's recently observed transformation.

Thirty two days ago I set out on a journey to check off a requirement I have as I work on launching my life coaching business this year.

That task was to write thirty blog posts in thirty days. 

I had several thoughts about this task and of course I'll share a few:

• "This might be hard"
• "This could be fun."
• "I might not be able to do this."

Then as I got closer to finishing:

• "This is easy."
• "I can't wait until this is over"
• "This is so hard."
• "I can't wait for this to be over and to CELEBRATE this milestone."

Then as the thirty days approached I felt like every other day (well, almost every day): accomplished,  proud, successful.

I kept waiting for the fireworks.

Then day thirty one came and it was just another day...

I even wrote another blog post...

I asked myself what was happening here? Am I depressed? Did my brain forget to throw myself a party? 

Why doesn't this defeat make me want to party???

Let me tell you why my friends; because I never doubted myself.

WHY?

From a place of complete, utter self love and self confidence I did the work.

 I enjoyed the work.

I believed in myself, did it and moved on to the next goal on the list.

This my friends, is what I want for you as well, the self confidence to know that you can do whatever it is you set out to do and then be on to the next like it's no big deal.

Like it was totally supposed to happen.

With no surprise, it's just what is in your life, you love yourself and trust that you will do what it takes to make it all come together.

When this happens for you, that is when you will start manifesting your purpose.

Every day.

XOX

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Your Top Three Emotions And How They Reveal The Results In Your Life

Feelings, or emotions, it seems like a bunch of wasted time to look at them, right?

Wrong.

Read on to find out why they are so important.

Feelings start in our brain. They are caused by something that we are thinking, when we feel the emotion, the brain sends out chemicals to the body, these chemicals create vibrations in the body.

Feelings are the third line in the Thought Model, they are a one word emotion that drives the actions you take with the things you do on a daily basis.

I have found that we as humans are pretty numb to our emotions. Discovering what emotions we are feeling is one of the first, and fundamental, things I teach.

Think about it for a moment, everything we want in life is because of how we think it will make us feel.

So now, think about what you want.

Then ask yourself what you really, really want (insert Spice Girl Wannabe lyrics).

Lastly, ask yourself how you think you'll feel when you get what you really want.

BINGO!

You want the feeling that thing will give you.

The next question I'll ask is how you can create that feeling now?

This is the magical work I do with my Awaken(TheTrue)You program clients.

I help them start to fill that void the have in their life. I teach them how to stop attempting to fill it with external things.

Once they are able to start closing that void their brain is free to start focusing on what they really, truly want in their life.

Then we start creating it.

They step off of their hamster wheel and into the life of their dreams.

They start creating the results that they didn't even realize they wanted to create.

It's beautiful.

Let's keep moving forward with some more awareness activities.

Ask yourself what your top three most common emotions are on a daily basis and why you feel them.

Here's a list to get you started.

If you're feeling brave go ahead and describe each feeling, then how you deal with each one.

Then ask yourself what are the top three emotions you want to have on a daily basis and why.

If you felt this way on a daily basis how might you show up differently in your life?

Showing up the way you want to show up will change your life forever.

The best part?

You don't even need to change any of the external things in your life for this to happen, like your job, your boss, spouse, child, friend, state, car, house.

If you struggle with feeling joy, excitement, enthusiasm, responsible, determined, proud and want help changing the results you are currently getting in your life then let's find some time to chat. Let's talk about whether working with me might be a fit for the next step in your life, you can book your free session here or send me an email with days and times that will work for you.

Make today the first day of the best days of your life!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Reasons Why You Lack Self Confidence

I've always been a self help junkie.

As far back as I can remember I was learning how to exercise, meditate, eat right, but knowing what I know now I'm pretty sure it was mostly with the objective of looking the way society deemed I should look.

So I could feel acceptance.

Ok, maybe not the meditation, I think that was part of my deep desire to get connected spiritually.

Back to the feeling accepted.

This was always a struggle for me, always doing what I thought would make me fit in or be accepted.

I thought I would generate self confidence by proving myself, again to gain acceptance.

I was always looking for love from other people, by doing everything for others, until I discovered that the only true way to feel love was to start with loving myself.

As I started digging in to how to become self confident I started figuring out all of the things that I needed to start working on, let me share three of them with you:

We don't trust ourselves.

To see if you trust yourself go read my post where I give you one simple way to see if you trust yourself and then if you want to start working on how to change that, go check out my post with three steps to start trusting yourself. We don't know how to trust ourselves because we are unfamiliar with how to manage our mind making us feel out of control with our feelings and actions.

We are afraid to feel our emotions.

We're afraid of not feeling loved, of being rejected, of feeling sad so we do whatever we can to get people to like us, which then makes us feel loved...IF they treat us the way we want them to treat us. We don't know how to actually process our emotions so we just avoid them and avoid doing anything that could build our self confidence. Instead we just keep working on proving ourselves by being the best we can be at something that we deem might make us look confident.

Let me pause here to explain the difference. Confidence comes from repeatedly doing something until we do it well, this builds confidence in doing that thing. Self confidence comes from within. Self confidence is created by doing things and being willing to feel whatever emotion comes along because we are solid in our relationship with ourselves. We know that feeling humiliation is just a vibration in our body, that it won't kill us and has nothing to do with who we are.

Low opinion of ourselves.

We just don't think thoughts that are uplifting about ourselves. We are out there looking for it from others but we still don't believe them. We want people to tell us how good we look yet we can't just say "thank you" and agree with them. Instead we don't trust them, telling ourselves they are lying to make us feel good or to get something in return.

This my friends is the opposite of self confidence.

Becoming confident in ones self is a journey that you will never regret. 

Becoming self confident is COMPLETELY possible for ANYONE, no matter what lies you've been telling yourself your whole life. 

I strongly encourage you to embark on the journey and I believe I'm the perfect person to guide you through it. I've traveled the road, I've done the work, I've created so much self confidence that I believe I can do anything I decide to do. 

I'm out there doing it by creating it for people like you, life starts right here where self confidence begins.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Steps To Building Self Trust

Today I had a consult with a woman who just couldn't make a decision so I started asking some questions about actions she was taking, or not taking in her life. She didn't trust her boss and then she admitted to several other people she didn't trust, ultimately uncovering that she didn't trust herself either. With her being able to see this she was able to see the impact of doing the work to start taking care of herself before she could really start building trust in outside relationships.

First let me suggest you read my post where I tell you one way to figure out if you trust yourself then come back to this post.

If you've already read that post or already have a good idea that you lack self trust, then you're in the right place, let's get you started on getting to a place where you can trust yourself.

Learn how to follow through on things you tell yourself you're going to do.

This, in my opinion, is the most important one of all and the easiest to start implementing because it's "actionable". Here are the actions you can take to start implementing follow through:

1. Pick something simple you want to follow through on, let's use getting the laundry done
2. Come up with all of the obstacles to getting that task done:
1. I have three loads so I can't get it all done at once
3. Come up with the strategies to getting it done:
1. I'm going to do it all on Saturday, spaced out
4. Schedule:
1. 1 block of 15 min (to separate and get first load in machine)
2. 1 block an hour later of 15 or 30 minutes (transfer & load, 30 min if you air dry some of your laundry)
3. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/load/hang/fold)
4. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/load/hang/fold)
5. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/hang/fold/put away)
6. 1 block some other time to fold and put away hanging laundry
5. Actually do the task when it comes up, no matter what
6. Evaluate what worked, what didn't work, what you'll change next time

The more you do what you say you're going to do the more trust you'll build in yourself and the more self confidence you build 💥

Learn how to experience any emotion.

This is a big part of what I teach. The only reason we don't do something is because of how we think it will make us feel. Once we learn that the worst thing that can happen is an emotion then we can decide that there is nothing you can't do. When you know that there isn't anything that you can't do you build trust in yourself and self confidence 💥

Make a decision to change your opinion of yourself.

Once you start believing that you are good, capable, strong, worthy, competent then you will start trusting yourself. I wrote in an earlier post about how this truly can just be something you decide to do. Though your brain is going to offer you a different thought, a thought that you've conditioned it to think, it's still possible to start today to change that thought into something that is actually going to serve you. Not only is this going to build trust but, yep, it's going to build your self confidence 💥

Building trust is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for others. If you don't fully trust yourself, be honest, who will you trust?

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

One Simple Way To See If You Trust Yourself

Most of my clients who struggle with low self esteem really think that they trust ourselves, like in the way that we will always be there for ourselves because there isn't anyone else out there we can trust, until I ask them the following question.

Today I want to challenge that thought.

I want you to find out the truth, I want you to discover if you really do trust yourself.

Or not.

Ask yourself how many times per week you do what you told yourself you would do.

Maybe just ask yourself about today. How many times today did you follow through and do what you told yourself you were going to do?

"I'm going to eat 'healthy' today."

"I'm not going to have a drink tonight."

"I'll call so and so after work."

"Tonight I'll clean that closet."

How many times have you carried over that one task that you have been telling yourself to do for ummm, a month, maybe even longer?

Let me do a bit of a confession as I type, I have one task I've been ignoring for oh, maybe six months now (dentist appointment - it's a long story but it has something to do with a switch in insurance - no excuses, I know). Done.

So, thank you for making me accountable but let's go back to the point. The point is that if you tell yourself to do something and you consistently let yourself down you have set a pattern for yourself of assuming that you're going to let yourself down.

I mean let's look at that friend of yours who is consistently late to Gfriend dates, maybe even doesn't show up, do you trust her to show up on time?

Look at yourself honestly and then decide if you like not trusting yourself.

I didn't like it so I decided to change it, more on that tomorrow!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.