One Thing You Can Do Today To End Negative Body Image Self Talk

Let me tell you a little secret.

It's been almost a year since I've looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw.

Most of my life I have done everything I could to change what I thought was unacceptable about myself.

I exercised.

Educated myself.

I learned how to eat right.

I read self help books.

I learned the latest and greatest makeup tricks.

You know what? None of it mattered. I could always find something negative about myself.

I was never good enough, no matter what anyone else told be, they were all liars.

What changed?

I told myself enough was enough.

I told myself that if God created me exactly the way He did, then it was time to stop arguing with reality and start taking the steps of falling in love with myself.

This might be one of the most difficult things I've done in my life, and I've overcome some pretty rough obstacles, but it has definitely been the second best thing I've done in my life, right after accepting Jesus as my Savior.

Now it's my mission to help you do the same so let me share my one tip to get you started.

Just decide.

This may make you mad.

This might not be the magic answer you were looking for.

This though IS the magic answer because my guess is that you've never really tried.

You see you have conditioned yourself to believe, one thought at a time, that this isn't true. That you are not enough. That you just haven't gotten to the right weight. That you haven't found the right diet. That you haven't found the right esthetician. That you haven't found the right product or the right supplement.

Today I suggest that you start noticing your negative self talk. 

That is the first step:

Awareness.

Start becoming aware of every time you say something negative about yourself. 

I suggest you start a note on your phone and write down every time you tell yourself that you hate your hair, hate your butt, hate your lips, hate your posture, hate your face, hate your body.

Then decide that you won't allow this any more.

Find a bridge thought.

You are absolutely correct. You cannot go from "I hate my body." to "I am absolutely beautiful.", that is why I suggest you start with a bridge thought.

A bridge thought is the first step to crossing the river over to the other side. From where you are right now to the other side where you love everything about yourself.

Possibly that thought is:

"I am becoming the person who loves myself."

"I might be wrong about myself."

"Someday I will be able to love myself."

"I am open to the idea that I am fully beautiful."

"It's possible that I am perfectly created and wonderful."

Give it a try. Take the steps and please let me know how it feels.

Be open to the change my friend, take it from a former self hater, the result is worth the work.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Types Of Jealousy And How To Let It Go

Jealousy is an emotion I used to experience pretty much on a daily basis and I'm happy to say that I really don't experience it much anymore. I have developed a beautiful, loving relationship with myself that allows me to trust myself to do the right thing, to not be worried about what others do and it has generated the self confidence to know that I can achieve anything I desire.

I won't lie, I do experience it once in a while, I am human, but now I have this amazing tool called the Thought Model to help me work on my mindset. The Thought Model shows me the result I'm getting from the thought causing the feeling of jealousy and then I can work on what I want to do with what is coming up for me.

I have a couple of videos on my YouTube channel that may help you understand this tool.

Jealousy is something that truly comes from lack of self confidence, self compassion as well as trust. When we don't trust others it is often a reflection of distrust in ourselves. I encourage you to read two of my other posts, one to see if you trust yourself  and then this one to help you take some steps to learning how to trust yourself.

Here are three different situations that might cause us to get jealous:

Projection

I like to liken this to holding up the mirror between yourself and the person you are jealous of. Then turn the mirror back towards yourself to discover what it is in your life that is causing you to be jealous. I'll use a relationship as an example. Maybe you are jealous of your mate, possibly even accusing him of flirting or cheating on you. If you turn the mirror on yourself possibly you yourself are experiencing thoughts of someone else in your life? 

Could this be lack of trust on your part with what your own outcome might be with someone you may be having thoughts about?

Protection

Protection is an effort to protect yourself from something you think might be bad for you. This can show up as you trying to control someone to get the result you want. It could look like you thinking your mate is flirting and paying more attention to other people. You're jealous that he may like them better than you and want to tell him to change the way he acts. You get to decide whether you want to let him be himself or if this isn't what you want in your partner, do you trust yourself enough to decide? Self confidence allows you to feel the feeling and know that it's ok, that you can feel the emotion and then again, make the choice as to if this is what you want in your partner.

Competition

This is when we are watching what is happening for other people and jealous of what they are getting that you aren't. I like to look at a form of this coming from a place of scarcity. In the example of progress in a career or income, you might be thinking that there is only so much to go around, that someone else is making all the money, leaving you with not enough. I like to think that there is no limit to what any of us can produce and if someone else can do it, with self confidence we will know that the same is true for us. 

There is also the situation of placement in some sort of contest. For thirty years I coached athletes where I saw jealousy on a daily basis. People comparing themselves to others, not trusting in their own capabilities, not self confident in what they can create, not loving themselves enough for where they are and what they have achieved for themselves. 

If you are competing to somehow create your worth or killing it in your job to create your worth or controlling your surroundings so that you can feel love then my program is an exact fit for you. I help high achievers like yourself work on that piece that is missing, themselves. I give them the tools to start finding love from within, once you're able to trust and love yourself you'll be able to build the self confidence to go out and create whatever it is you want, for no one but you.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Reasons Why You Lack Self Confidence

I've always been a self help junkie.

As far back as I can remember I was learning how to exercise, meditate, eat right, but knowing what I know now I'm pretty sure it was mostly with the objective of looking the way society deemed I should look.

So I could feel acceptance.

Ok, maybe not the meditation, I think that was part of my deep desire to get connected spiritually.

Back to the feeling accepted.

This was always a struggle for me, always doing what I thought would make me fit in or be accepted.

I thought I would generate self confidence by proving myself, again to gain acceptance.

I was always looking for love from other people, by doing everything for others, until I discovered that the only true way to feel love was to start with loving myself.

As I started digging in to how to become self confident I started figuring out all of the things that I needed to start working on, let me share three of them with you:

We don't trust ourselves.

To see if you trust yourself go read my post where I give you one simple way to see if you trust yourself and then if you want to start working on how to change that, go check out my post with three steps to start trusting yourself. We don't know how to trust ourselves because we are unfamiliar with how to manage our mind making us feel out of control with our feelings and actions.

We are afraid to feel our emotions.

We're afraid of not feeling loved, of being rejected, of feeling sad so we do whatever we can to get people to like us, which then makes us feel loved...IF they treat us the way we want them to treat us. We don't know how to actually process our emotions so we just avoid them and avoid doing anything that could build our self confidence. Instead we just keep working on proving ourselves by being the best we can be at something that we deem might make us look confident.

Let me pause here to explain the difference. Confidence comes from repeatedly doing something until we do it well, this builds confidence in doing that thing. Self confidence comes from within. Self confidence is created by doing things and being willing to feel whatever emotion comes along because we are solid in our relationship with ourselves. We know that feeling humiliation is just a vibration in our body, that it won't kill us and has nothing to do with who we are.

Low opinion of ourselves.

We just don't think thoughts that are uplifting about ourselves. We are out there looking for it from others but we still don't believe them. We want people to tell us how good we look yet we can't just say "thank you" and agree with them. Instead we don't trust them, telling ourselves they are lying to make us feel good or to get something in return.

This my friends is the opposite of self confidence.

Becoming confident in ones self is a journey that you will never regret. 

Becoming self confident is COMPLETELY possible for ANYONE, no matter what lies you've been telling yourself your whole life. 

I strongly encourage you to embark on the journey and I believe I'm the perfect person to guide you through it. I've traveled the road, I've done the work, I've created so much self confidence that I believe I can do anything I decide to do. 

I'm out there doing it by creating it for people like you, life starts right here where self confidence begins.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Steps To Building Self Trust

Today I had a consult with a woman who just couldn't make a decision so I started asking some questions about actions she was taking, or not taking in her life. She didn't trust her boss and then she admitted to several other people she didn't trust, ultimately uncovering that she didn't trust herself either. With her being able to see this she was able to see the impact of doing the work to start taking care of herself before she could really start building trust in outside relationships.

First let me suggest you read my post where I tell you one way to figure out if you trust yourself then come back to this post.

If you've already read that post or already have a good idea that you lack self trust, then you're in the right place, let's get you started on getting to a place where you can trust yourself.

Learn how to follow through on things you tell yourself you're going to do.

This, in my opinion, is the most important one of all and the easiest to start implementing because it's "actionable". Here are the actions you can take to start implementing follow through:

1. Pick something simple you want to follow through on, let's use getting the laundry done
2. Come up with all of the obstacles to getting that task done:
1. I have three loads so I can't get it all done at once
3. Come up with the strategies to getting it done:
1. I'm going to do it all on Saturday, spaced out
4. Schedule:
1. 1 block of 15 min (to separate and get first load in machine)
2. 1 block an hour later of 15 or 30 minutes (transfer & load, 30 min if you air dry some of your laundry)
3. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/load/hang/fold)
4. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/load/hang/fold)
5. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/hang/fold/put away)
6. 1 block some other time to fold and put away hanging laundry
5. Actually do the task when it comes up, no matter what
6. Evaluate what worked, what didn't work, what you'll change next time

The more you do what you say you're going to do the more trust you'll build in yourself and the more self confidence you build 💥

Learn how to experience any emotion.

This is a big part of what I teach. The only reason we don't do something is because of how we think it will make us feel. Once we learn that the worst thing that can happen is an emotion then we can decide that there is nothing you can't do. When you know that there isn't anything that you can't do you build trust in yourself and self confidence 💥

Make a decision to change your opinion of yourself.

Once you start believing that you are good, capable, strong, worthy, competent then you will start trusting yourself. I wrote in an earlier post about how this truly can just be something you decide to do. Though your brain is going to offer you a different thought, a thought that you've conditioned it to think, it's still possible to start today to change that thought into something that is actually going to serve you. Not only is this going to build trust but, yep, it's going to build your self confidence 💥

Building trust is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for others. If you don't fully trust yourself, be honest, who will you trust?

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

One Simple Way To See If You Trust Yourself

Most of my clients who struggle with low self esteem really think that they trust ourselves, like in the way that we will always be there for ourselves because there isn't anyone else out there we can trust, until I ask them the following question.

Today I want to challenge that thought.

I want you to find out the truth, I want you to discover if you really do trust yourself.

Or not.

Ask yourself how many times per week you do what you told yourself you would do.

Maybe just ask yourself about today. How many times today did you follow through and do what you told yourself you were going to do?

"I'm going to eat 'healthy' today."

"I'm not going to have a drink tonight."

"I'll call so and so after work."

"Tonight I'll clean that closet."

How many times have you carried over that one task that you have been telling yourself to do for ummm, a month, maybe even longer?

Let me do a bit of a confession as I type, I have one task I've been ignoring for oh, maybe six months now (dentist appointment - it's a long story but it has something to do with a switch in insurance - no excuses, I know). Done.

So, thank you for making me accountable but let's go back to the point. The point is that if you tell yourself to do something and you consistently let yourself down you have set a pattern for yourself of assuming that you're going to let yourself down.

I mean let's look at that friend of yours who is consistently late to Gfriend dates, maybe even doesn't show up, do you trust her to show up on time?

Look at yourself honestly and then decide if you like not trusting yourself.

I didn't like it so I decided to change it, more on that tomorrow!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

My One Best Tip To Loving Yourself

Here it is, are you ready? Just decide.

I see you shaking your head and rolling your eyes, all mad at me for the worst piece of advice ever, but before you click off the page, please read on because this short article might just change your life.

It really is just a decision, I'm not saying it's something you decide today and life goes on to a happily ever after, but what I am saying is you get to decide whether you want to love yourself or not.

This in of itself, was truly magic for me once I allowed it to really sink in. You see, I had never been taught that this was even available for me, or if it had I most certainly was absent on that day of class.

The reason you feel like you can't move forward with that decision is because of your brain. Your brain likes to keep things simple. You have ran a series of thoughts for so long in your life that they have become deeply engrained neurological pathways. Sort of like walking. There was a time when you didn't know how to walk, it was difficult, you fell down a lot, now you no longer have to be deliberate about taking steps, it's committed to our primitive brain. 

Same with those thoughts like: 

"I'm fat."

"I'm stupid."

"I'm not good enough to do such and such."

Insert your own negative mantra.

They may seem harmless, I hear you say it like you're reporting the weather. These are thoughts you've had for so many years they've become habit. The work to change those neurological paths will need to be deliberate and it starts with making a choice today to start a new mantra.

The beginning is going to be rough, your brain is going to argue with you. It's going to tell you that you're a liar, that you don't know what you're talking about, that you're just talking nonsense, I mean really? Did you look in the mirror today?

What I teach my clients is how to unlearn everything they have taught themselves about themselves. 

I teach them how to start trusting themselves.

I teach them how to start saying positive things to themselves and change these new thoughts to absolute truths.

I teach them how to find love from within and how to stop trying to manipulate others so that they can feel love.

Love starts with you my friend and it's just a choice you get to make. 

Will you chose love or will you continue the hate?

If you are running a continual thought loop of how you're not good enough then I would love to start the conversation with you about how my program can turn your life around. I see how wildly successful you are, now imagine actually enjoying this life of success that you've created. Book your consult today, I can't wait to watch your life take off!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.