Christine Bongiovanni-Stiff Coaching

Welcome to my blog page! I am a life coach who has been transforming the lives of women for over 30 years by showing them how to develop self confidence. You can book your free consultation coaching session or go check out my website. I look forward to changing your life, forever!

Awaken (The True) You

Some of us have pasts we want to re-write.

Sometimes we just want to let go of our public identity and just be the, what I call, the wild and unapologetic you.

Sometimes we are afraid of losing ourselves in the process of changing who we are through coaching, fearing that we will lose our identity.

Wherever you fall on the continuum I want to clarify something for you.

You are you.

You will always be you.

This is beautifully true.

You may not believe that today.

That doesn't make it untrue.

The process of Awakening The True You, only lets go of what isn't serving you. It strips away all of the layers and chains holding you back, pushing you under, keeping you from revealing that incredibly colorful you.

Do you find this confusing?

I'll attempt to clear things up for you here by using me as a for instance.

When I am chatting about who I used to be, most people won't even know the difference. I mean, it's not like I was some deep, dark, different person. I just wasn't fully me.

I am still so very much the same.

I am now so very different.

I leave the drama behind.

I am unapologetically me.

I'm not embarrassed of who I am.

I don't blame others for how I feel.

I don't regret anything.

I love myself, always.

I love my life, all of it, from the beginning to today.

I am only the True Me.

The Awakened Me.

You see, I haven't forgotten my past, I've re-written, and am re-writing, my past.

My past is now a beautiful story about one strong woman who no longer resents, regrets and resists her past.

I am a woman who turned her life around.

Same life.

Different story.

You may still be confused but you too can Awaken The True You, the process will erase your confusion.

Let me show you how.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.


What An Intentional Morning Practice Can Do For Your Day


Talk of meditating and being intentional about having a morning practice before you're off to the races is nothing new.

I've been reading about this practice since I was a kid but it's been around forever, according to Wikipedia, it's mentioned in the bible 23 times, 19 of those times in the book of Psalms.

I have a morning practice that is important to me and my journey of showing up as the best version of myself every day, but it isn't always easy and getting to this place has been quite the journey as well.

The problem with getting into a deliberate practice is that we live in a culture that thinks it's so busy, that thinks there just isn't time for that nonsense.

I completely disagree.

We can't afford to not take time for what others may call nonsense.

My morning practice often takes an hour, some special days I allow it to take as long as it takes to get to where I feel it's done. Then there are days when it is only a few minutes long or done while doing other tasks I do to get ready for my day, like brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc.

The fun fact is I currently get more done in a day than I ever have while hardly ever feeling busy. The even more exciting thing about this for me is that I am still young in the practice of managing my mind, so where all of this will go in the future motivates me to keep going.

I used to feel super guilty about this practice.

"What will other people think."

"People will think I'm lazy."

"People will think I've lost it."

All of those thoughts that I used to struggle with, and sometimes still do, are thoughts about how I look to others verses trusting what is best for me in my life.

I then remember that I am the boss of my brain and I reign it back in.

I remind my brain that what others think is their own business, not mine.

I remind myself of how I fully approve of myself and that I am unwilling to reject myself because of others who may reject me.

I remember that I am willing to risk everyone's rejection, except my own.

I have come to cherish and appreciate the value of this time, not only for me but for everyone that I encounter and pray for during that time.

Part of the practice includes my journal.

My journal is a place where I do daily thought downloads as well as unintentional and intentional thought models.

This journal has a multi-faceted purpose, one of which I experienced today.

This experience prompted this post, so I'd like to share it with you.

As you already know, I do a daily thought download and then look at both unintentional and intentional models from this download.

During my time this morning I was looking at a previous thought model from the day before and the result I had gotten in that model. Suddenly I was overcome with the true - more useful result that allowed me to open up to my next best version of myself.

That's the power of my journal and this work.

It allows me to update more frequently than my Apple products!

If you are struggling with your morning practice, or just want to get started with one, then I'd love to help you help yourself. Send me an email with some days/times you're available to chat and let's start your very first update!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.














What Do Feelings Have To Do With Results?


This is such a great question!

So many people ask me why I focus so much on feelings when I talk about maximizing our life or living out our potential.

They really think that all I'm doing is talking to them about the power of positive thinking.

Yes, positive thinking is amazing yet, if we don't believe the positive thought then we won't generate the feeling that is needed to drive the actions we want to take. If you have been following me then you know all about the thought model and know that the actions we take will create our end results.

Let's say you keep telling yourself that you are happy, like a mantra, yet you're not one bit happy, you will not be able to generate the feeling of happiness. In this exact situation that thought might even make you feel frustrated which will make you show up way differently than happy, obviously creating a way different result than what you are aiming for.

This is what our feelings have to do with our results.

Think about it.

When you're angry with someone how do you show up?

When you're overjoyed with that same person how do you show up?

You show up very differently in both scenarios which creates different results. One possibly getting you the result of you being a jerk and the other with you overjoyed with your life at that moment.

Now let's say when you're thinking someone is a jerk and you attempt to apply the power of positive thinking and try on "They are totally awesome." Well I imagine the feeling isn't overjoyed. Possibly more disbelief and then you end up with a result along the lines of you not being totally awesome.

This is why I talk about feelings so much and teach my clients how to feel feelings and how to learn how to recognize them in your body.

When you start to recognize how different feelings feel in your body you are better able to figure out what feeling you may be experiencing in the moment. You also will be able to start generating feelings that you're not feeling in the moment just by knowing what it feels like.

Then allowing you to better come up with a thought that could create that feeling.

Feelings are generated by the thoughts we think. You can even generate a feeling by thinking certain thoughts - try it. Think about a vacation you have been on in the past, then think of one of the most relaxing moments on that vacation. I would guess just thinking about it brings about that same vibration in your body as when you actually experienced it in the first place.

Actually, that is all that a memory is - a feeling that our body generates based on thoughts we think about that past memory.

If you would like to dig deeper into all of this and start to understand how all of this works and how it can help you start moving you into your future you at an accelerated pace, then I can help you with that.

Let's chat soon!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

How To Ask Great Questions


Every morning I ask myself a positive question and I write it down at the top of my time management planner.

When we ask our brain questions it will start looking for answers.

I love how our brain works!

Funny thing though is that we most often tend to ask our brain negative questions.

"Why can't I figure this out?"

"Why can't I lose this weight?"

"Why is my boss so selfish?"

"Will this ever work?"

They all seem like great questions but when we think about taking action to get the results we want in our life these questions aren't going to get us the answers we need.

These sort of questions will send the brain looking for answers to these questions, this is some of the answers mine comes up with:

"Um, hello, because you don't know what you're doing!"

"I can't control myself around food."

"He/she is only looking out for him/herself."

"Of course not!"

These answers do nothing in the way of helping me find a solution to my problem, or yours.

One thing I tell my clients to do is to ask the exact opposite question, allowing your brain to start searching for different answers, answers that can allow you to start solving the problem!

One of the rules I learned when I started the work of self coaching is that the answer "I don't know" just isn't an option, my master coach, Brooke Castillo, won't allow this as an answer to any question.

No matter what.

"I don't know" stops you from moving forward, instead I like to ask myself, and my clients, "If you did know, what would you say or do?"

Doing this allows us to take one step forward, then we can ask "What next?" and answer it.

If you knew the answer to your positive question, what would you do next?


I want to share my favorite question to ask lately.

"What would it be like to be...?" and then I enter an emotion like "self confident".

With this practice I have been watching when I'm coming up with negative thoughts and then I'll ask myself the question.

I'm pretty jazzed with the results this is producing in my life!

Let me know if you try it and if you do, how it's working for you, I'd love to help you start asking great questions!

Send me an email if you have questions about this work and I'll help you move forward!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.




Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.


When It All Just Doesn't Make Sense


What is this life all about anyway?

You out there doing all of the things.

Yet no idea why.

Your purpose is gone.

It was never truly there.

This whole time always right there, right inside.

It's just that no one has told you.

You're broken.

Broken hearted.

Destructive.

Hopeless.

Lost.

You hate who you are, you hate who you have become.

I just want you to know that I know who you are.

I was you.

Though I lived a life of apparent success, a life that people envied, I was hurt, I was broken.

I didn't know how to love myself so I sought to destroy myself.

I was too strong for that thought, too strong because I was made for so much more.

Created and protected for a day such as this.

A day when I can tell you that you too were created on purpose, with a purpose.

Your life has shaped you into an instrument to be used in the world.

What will you do with it?

My hope today is that this post will give just one person some hope.

Some hope to pick themselves up, clean themselves up and to open themselves up to their very own possibility.

It's there, this I know, you just have to love yourself and your Savior enough to go find it.

You were created for so much more, this I know and this I want you to know.

XOX

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.




Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.




Slam Dunk Defeat!


Today I have a personal success to share with you, not to brag but to show you how powerful this work that I am doing can be in a person's life.

This week I had a major shift, an ahh haa moment.

Let me share it with you.

I first want to start with how defeat, the winning kind of course, USED to feel like for me (and if you want to read about both kinds of defeat go read yesterday's post).

AMAZING!

Like the world just stopped spinning, amazing!

You know why?

It's because I would have a thought along the lines of "WHAT?!? Like, what just happened?!?"

Basically it was amazing as in exciting but also with a whole lot of surprise, like "Did that REALLY just happen?!?"

Don't get me wrong, with most things, like in my bodybuilding career, I am a hard worker and when I set (some) goals, I went out and got it.

WHY?


When we set out to achieve goals from a place of not loving ourselves, with lack of self confidence, while living a facade, we are truly just throwing the dice and hoping for the best.

Of course the other sort of defeat, the losing sort, would always feel a bit awful, which was all about me and my inability, my unworthiness.

Fast forward to two years post life coaching, let me tell you that now BOTH defeats sort of feel the same 🤔.

Let me explain and share this week's recently observed transformation.

Thirty two days ago I set out on a journey to check off a requirement I have as I work on launching my life coaching business this year.

That task was to write thirty blog posts in thirty days. 

I had several thoughts about this task and of course I'll share a few:

  • "This might be hard"
  • "This could be fun."
  • "I might not be able to do this."

Then as I got closer to finishing:

  • "This is easy."
  • "I can't wait until this is over"
  • "This is so hard."
  • "I can't wait for this to be over and to CELEBRATE this milestone."

Then as the thirty days approached I felt like every other day (well, almost every day): accomplished,  proud, successful.

I kept waiting for the fireworks.

Then day thirty one came and it was just another day...

I even wrote another blog post...

I asked myself what was happening here? Am I depressed? Did my brain forget to throw myself a party? 

Why doesn't this defeat make me want to party???

Let me tell you why my friends; because I never doubted myself.

WHY?


From a place of complete, utter self love and self confidence I did the work.

 I enjoyed the work.

I believed in myself, did it and moved on to the next goal on the list.

This my friends, is what I want for you as well, the self confidence to know that you can do whatever it is you set out to do and then be on to the next like it's no big deal.

Like it was totally supposed to happen.

With no surprise, it's just what is in your life, you love yourself and trust that you will do what it takes to make it all come together.

When this happens for you, that is when you will start manifesting your purpose.

Every day.

XOX

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.






















What Does Defeat Mean To You?


I wrote myself a note to write about the topic of defeat a couple weeks back when I was in the middle of writing my 30 blogs in 30 days.  I never wrote about it during that challenge, yesterday was day 30 💥, I just kept thinking about defeat.

I was a bit curious about why I waited, but just kept moving on.

When will I learn that there is a reason for the wait.

When something feels forced it means that it's not time yet.

Really.

Here is my experience with waiting and my thoughts around defeat.

Usually I talk about something different every day on my live broadcasts and in my posts.

This week I decided to dig into defeat and stick with it all week.

I spoke about defeat on both my Facebook biz page and the next day on my personal page.

Side note, you should really go follow me on that biz page and turn on your notifications so you get all the good stuff!

I spoke about when we are feeling defeated by life. Maybe it's our relationship with our spouse, or our kids, or maybe it's that weight that you've been desperately trying to lose or that job that drags you down every day.

I talked about how those thoughts that are creating that feeling of defeat make you show up in your day, giving you the result of creating more defeat in your life.

When we continue to think about how defeated we are in one area of our life our brain gets used to that signal and begins to tell you how you are losing in all areas of your life.

I talked about how taking the steps of creating awareness around this is the first step out of feeling defeated.

I talked about the impact of doing the work to change your brain and how you can re-create your results.

Then this afternoon as I started to think about what I was going to write about defeat, I had an epiphany, well maybe not an epiphany, but it was good.

Ready?

Defeat can also mean to win a victory over something.

Hello.

Welcome to my brain.

All this time since I had made a note to write about defeat, my brain was focusing on being defeated by something.

Something beating me.

My brain completely ignored when defeat means something amazing.

The light that shined into my brain when I saw where it automatically goes was truly enlightening.

Defeat can also mean your victory over your nemesis.

How do you look at defeat?

How can you turn that around to defeat?

Love you all!!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I'd love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.